Why did I lock in?

It's a real question I ask myself as a Professional Procrastinator™. Sometimes, with no notice whatsoever, I just find myself in a state of focus so deep I don't even realize I'm in it. The best part? When I have these "sudden lock-ins," is when I get the most work done.

Observations

As someone who likes to ask, "Why?" a lot, I had to look into why this happens. But before that, I wanted to look into when this happens. I usually have these "sudden lock-ins" at night, late at night, but it also happens when I'm alone, no matter what time of day. But wait-I'm also alone late at night, it's not the night that "locks me in," but it's just the lack of people, the lack of noise.

I could bore both myself and you with some neurological, psychological research that backs real reasoning, or I could make my own reasoning. I choose the latter.

I suspect that the reason I lock in when everything around me is silent is because I have nobody to please, I'm not seeking anyone's approval but myself. After all, there is no one but myself. So when I'm alone, I try to do things for me, and just me, hence the "lock-ins".

Noise

The part that interests me the most about this is that what "encourages" me the most to work is the lack of noise. What effect does noise have on my productivity? Why is it that I'm most productive in the quiet, but listening to music boosts my productivity? Is it noise that suppresses my productivity, or is it the people around me?

That's exactly it. It's not the noises people make, it's not the TV, it's not the silent chaos of Instagram Reels creeping out of somebody's phone, but it's the people themselves. You may be thinking, "This guy must hate people," and you're right, but I don't hate the people, I hate the noise that comes with the presence of people. Now you may be thinking, "This guy must really hate people," but seriously, we spend our whole lives around people, and without them, we feel empty, so we are constantly craving interaction. And it's those cravings that suppress productivity, sometimes, that "desire to socialize" kicks in too much, and it starts to get in the way and becomes a form of procrastination for me.

Now I'm not saying that human interaction is bad for me, because that's dumb. I'm saying that sometimes, it's my way of suppressing important work because I don't want to deal with it right now.

Now, let me ask again, "Why did I lock in?" It's because I have no more excuses. No people, no desire to socialize, no excuses.

- S